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WHITBREAD has confirmed that the secret ingredient to a tasty beef burger is a mouth watering prime cut of horse. It would seem that the horse meat scandal has filtered down the supply chain to Pubs, affecting Whitbreads beefburgers and meat lasagne; although customers can be assured that as a responsible company, they have made every effort to assure customers that they are carrying out independent DNA testing of all meat, and seeking further assurances from suppliers.

Now that the fraud has been unearthed, the price of a McDonalds burger, and a Burger King meal, are expected to rise sharply in line with the price of real meat.

Some people however, think that this is a fuss over nothing: to the French, Horse is a gourmet meat.

In fact, Chez Sophie, a French Restaurant at the Harrow Inn, introduced steak de cheval, a home-made, 100 per cent horsemeat burger two weeks ago due to popular demand. Apparently it's customers in Kent had been requesting the dish for quite a while.

Gangsters have started using cows heads as warning signs, due to the shock factor.

I'm about to tuck into my horse sandwich What would a horse black pudding taste like? Or horse leather? wow I reckon a new industry has opened. I'm dressing in black and going out tonight to grab me a dozen wild horses